Plug glorious master cd player back in i hope this help! - chan from scott ******* to me: that doesnt help me at all. This ad says you are selling the shovel! i can assure you i am not jewish so you can stop pretending you aren t selling the shovel. Now my phone is getting a call from the fax machine every 15 minutes.
Sent via blackberry from steve ***** to me: how the fuck is that my fault!? from me to steve *****: apparently my registration and insurance are expired, so they are towing my car. Doesn t 100 intersect with 113? i m just going to do that and then loop around back to pughtown rd. From felix ********* to me: no! from me to felix*********: i wasn t sure what to do, so i sent you a fax. I ll give you $15 for it, and that is my final offer. Until i read your disgusting comment about not selling the shovel to jewish people.
From felix ********* to me: my voicemail isnt full the phone never rang. Ill be home all day sound good? from me to steve *****: sounds good. Org judy, i am writing in response to your ad regarding helping children learn to skate. I came across your ad in my search for a new shovel and it seemed like a great deal.I gave you the easiest directons and you still got fucking lost. =================================== from me to felix *********: felix, i just got back from canada to find out you were belittling my janitor? dave is one of the best janitors i have ever had the pleasure of working with, so you better watch your mouth.
I look forward to hearing from you. None of this is my fault you are just a fucking dipshit that cant follow directons so fuck the fuck off and never email me again!!!! oh and i sold the tv to someone else and the guy had no problems finding my house cause hes not a fucking moron from me to ************@**********. I took a pic of the page im pretty sure its the trouble shooting part.
From me to steve *****: uh. We are pretty good friends. From russ ******* to me: oh my god. For some reason the only manual i have is entirely in japanese. I used that during a fight once and the guy actually started convulsing! it struck fear into the heart of the other team and we ended up winning the game.
Judy from me to judy *******: oh yes, i am still able to skate.
Adios, amigos! from me to russ *******: hey russ, that s a really nice shovel you have in the picture. From me to russ *******: quit dicking me around. Org: hey there, i want your tv.
I still love the game of hockey though and would love to pass on my skills to your wonderful children.From felix ********* to dave the janitor: look im in no mood to haggle with a janitor over a fucking fish tank. Benzaiten will banish audio demon to eternal suffering 4.
I was a legend in minor league hockey until my career was cut short by a career ending injury. There more steps to help you! here: if still experience failure of the sound, your glorious master cd player possessed by audio demon. Good luck! from felix ********* to me: dont have him call me you idiot just have him cancel the fax from me to felix *********: this is an automated out-of-office reply from mike partlow: i will be out of the office on vacation in canada until monday, june 10th. I was talking to someone else for help, but idk what his problem was.
Call again and leave a message if no answer. I m at the airport and my flight to vancouver leaves in an hour and a half. I m not selling the fucking shovel get over it and quit being immature you son of a bitch.
Best, murderin mike from judy ******* to me: what do you think this is? the special dlympics are for the mentally handicapped. Are you screwing with me? from scott ******* to me: did i send the wrong page? i think this is the table of contents.
Pray to benzaiten, goddess of music 3. Mike from judy ******* to me: yikes! what were the circumstances of the ban/injury, if you don t mind me asking? from me to judy *******: not at all.If you want your kids to learn how to play hockey, they are going to have to learn how to fight. From me to russ *******: excuse me? that s not what your ad says. Im surprised the cops didnt find crack in your car you fucking crackhead.
I m getting charged with possession, which is going to cost me a fortune. Am i right? do you see anything about there not being any sound? from me to scott *******: yes, this is the right page. You can forget about me buying your fish tank! mike from felix ********* to me: good because im not selling anything to a stupid fuck who cant even figure out how to dial a phone number!!!!!!! from me to felix *********: please, stop harassing me and dave. =================================== from dave the janitor to felix *********: hi there! is this felix? mike told me to contact you about buying a fish tank.
I accidentally went through the ez-pass thing instead of the regular toll and i think it took a picture of my license plate. Sorry it took me so long to figure out how to cancel it. In hockey, we don t fake injuries and have to miss half the season due to a pulled vagina muscle.I hope you banish audio demon! much luck.
Can you believe that? i thought this was supposed to be hockey! so like i said, i was a legend in minor league hockey.
That is very unfortunate. Do you not want them to be able to play hockey like everybody else plays it? mike from judy ******* to me: give me a freaking break. If you want them to be the best damn hockey fighters in the special olympics, i am your guy. Don t pull that card on me.
Man, i want a kid like that. The way she inveigles herself into the lives of her neighbours, mostly billy, but also rayleen felipe and mrs hinman is something to behold. Sent via blackberry from steve ***** to me: i cant help you.
Especially for mentally handicapped children.
Try play cd again if you fail banishing of audio demon, you failure.
I had to get a bail bondsman and now i owe like $1500.
It really wasn t a big deal. It is a shame that you are taking away the joy of competitive sports from these kids. I don t know when i will get my car back so you will have to bring the $500 to me. I have a whole set of moves i like to use during fights.
I have $50 cash and can pick it up anytime. He was supposed to tell you to cancel the fax that keeps calling my phone.
I ll show them how to make butt-ending, head checking, slashing and tripping look like an accident. Sent via blackberry from steve ***** to me: are you fucking with me? im sorry dude but you are a fucking idiot and im done dealing withyou ============================== epilogue - several days later ============================== from me to steve *****: hey, it is mike again. I tried calling the number he gave me but it sounded like a fax machine or something, so i am emailing you instead.Its absolutely disturbing that you find this kind of behavior acceptable.
I majored in japanese in college, speak it fluently, and lived in miyazaki for two years.
- chan from scott ******* to me: wtf? does it really say that? from me to scott *******: i just translate what you give. Thanks, mike from me to steve *****: hey, i m on pughtown rd right now but i am having trouble finding your house. From russ ******* to me: cant you read? the shovel isnt for sale. From me to judy *******: judy, i am starting to think that you are the problem with this team, not the kids. Despite the fact her life isn t perfect, she makes the best of it. Also, they said there is a bench warrant out for my arrest for not paying some speeding ticket i got last year.
Thanks for nothing you jackass later, from another email account from me to *********@*********.Can i please talk to your supervisor? i would like to take your position and suggest that you be fired. Mike from judy ******* to me: you aren t coming anywhere near these children.
You are beyond lost. Where were you? you never came to bail me out. You made a left. From russ ******* to me: take the ad down ======================================================== i emailed him one last time, from another account. I felt as if i was a part of the block of apartments where grace lived, where billy lived, where rayleen, felipe and mrs hinman lived.
I wanted you to see how many great offers you could get if you decided to sell the shovel. I m just a janitor. Frankly i think you deserve to be in jail. I live on ******** dr. Am i going the right direction? sent via blackberry from steve ***** to me: no. You think you are better than him or something? big words coming from a guy who doesn t even own a fax machine.My nickname used to be murderin mike (don t worry, i never actually murdered anyone. Did i ask you to go on the turnpike and get pulled over for speeding like a fucking idiot? did i ask you to have drugs in your car? no.
To fix failure of the sound, follow step: 1. She just bowls everyone else away and she s like the tasmanian devil the way she asserts herself and knows exactly what she has to do to get her mum clean. Looks like the only sport he ll be playing now is shitting in a bag (heh heh). What is your number? i ll call you for directions. However, after 10 or so pages, once i d bedded myself in, i got lost in the book. Seeing as this is your fault, i think you should pay me at least $500 as compensation. Turn around and it will be on your left from me to steve *****: i already turned onto rt.My personal favorite is the bowling ball , where you gouge both of the opponent s eyes and then jam your thumb into the roof of their mouth. Is that all it says? from me to scott *******: oh no! very sorry. Did you get it? from felix ********* to me: dont send me a fax from felix ********* to me: stop sending me faxes from felix ********* to me: seriously stop tryoing to send fax! it wont work because its a cell phone!!! from me to felix *********: can t you just set your cell phone to fax machine mode? from felix ********* to me: what the hell is fax machine mode? cell phones dont have that! from felix ********* to me: omg dude enough with the faxes!!!!!! from me to felix *********: sorry, i set the fax machine to try sending the fax every fifteen minutes until it goes through. I turned around and i m still not seeing bethel. From russ ******* to me: i m not selling the fucking shovel let it go! tell me this asshole if you were doing a favor then why did you put that shit about the jews in there??? from me to russ *******: i detected some strong anti-semitic undertones in our initial conversation. When i saw in your ad that the kids were mentally challenged, i wasn t fazed. Anyway, the pussies at the commissioner s office considered it gross misconduct and assault and gave me a lifetime ban. You make me sick.
They are taking me to a police station in norristown. Can this wait until monday? from felix ********* to me: no it cant wait until monday are you fucking kidding me from felix ********* to me: go back to your office and cancel it right now from me to felix *********: my apologies, i can t go back. Competitive sports are great for kids - it keeps them from turning to drugs and violence in the streets.
I didn t see kids with disabilities, i saw kids that i could turn into great hockey players. If you want to tell these kids that they shouldn t learn hockey the right way because they are mentally challenged, then that is just sad. To make the best of a bad situation, to ask billy to teach her to dance, to ask felipe to teach her spanish. Are you sure you have the right documents? from scott ******* to me: wtf!!! i dont know what is going on! it has a picture of the cd player on the front and then this is the next page. You do not have the right attitude to be working with these kids. Should i get off at that exit? sent via blackberry from steve ***** to me: dude why the fuck would you get on the turnpike? didnt you notice something was wrong when you had to go thru a fucking toll???? jesus man you are hopeless! from me to steve *****: calm down.
Nowhere is a shovel mentioned. You know that isn t what i meant. Next time get a fucking gps if you are this bad with directons from me to steve *****: well, i hope you are happy.
But i am telling mike what you said to me and i don t think he will want to buy a fish tank from you after that. 100 because you took too long to respond.
Is it for sale? mike from russ ******* to me: sorry guy. Org: hi! you need japanese translate? i chan, i help you with translate. From felix ********* to dave the janitor:. Are you this rude to your fish? oh i m felix! sorry, i m in no mood to feed a goldfish! maybe if you were a $500 blueface angel fish i would feed you.Are you at his office? can you stop the fax? from dave the janitor to felix *********: so you aren t selling the fish tank? from felix ********* to dave the janitor: look forget the fish tank just stop the fax machine, please!! from dave the janitor to felix *********: why are you so worried about this fax machine? can t you just turn your cell phone to fax mode? from felix ********* to dave the janitor: that isnt a thing! look im done screwing around here.
You must be smoking crack if you think im giving you $500 and the tv. You should light three candles and pray to benzaiten, the god of music. An audio demon? this is bs. During a fight, i broke his eye socket, fish-hooked his cheek apart and slashed his achilles tendon with my skate.
They are taking my phone now so i won t be able to talk to you after this. The ice will be stained with their blood, teeth, and broken dreams. I think this page is the troubleshooting part because of the tables. Would you be able to bail me out? bring the tv, too.
So does this mean i can t buy your shovel? ======================================================== from another email account. You want borrow? from scott ******* to me: wtf are you talking about.I ll cancel the fax on monday when i get back.
But the spirit of the novel and the way it s written is just amazing. Well i ve got news for you, judy, you couldn t be more wrong. Should i go down that? sent via blackberry from steve ***** to me: no! you drove passed bethel dude it intersects with pughtown. With my training, the other teams won t stand a chance. It was just a cute nickname). Turn around and go the other way. The characters in don t let me go are amazing. Grace is the most boisterous and fun-loving 10-year-old you ll ever fictionally meet.
Can you look at this and tell me which page is the troubleshooting one? then ill send you that one from me to scott *******: that no table of content, that sushi take-out menu! try 16, spicy salmon roll! much delicious! from scott ******* to me:. Anyway my cd player isnt working and the manual is only in japanese so i need help reading the troubleshooting part. I will not be checking my emails until i return.
We fight it out like men. They ll learn how to fight like hockey players.
I know that probably sounds strange - after all, grace is living with a drug-addicted mother so her life is hardly a bed of roses, and then there s billy shine who s never left his apartment for over 12 years.
Initially, i struggled to really get a feel for don t let me go.
I think you misunderstood me. From me to felix *********: hey, that fish tank is beautiful. Have a great weekend, eh? =================================== i made another email account as dave the janitor.
Grace really made the book. I know being a janitor isn t the most desirable job, but i gotta put food on the table for my kids somehow! sorry i m not an astronaut with a degree in brain surgery! you re in no mood to argue with a janitor? well guess what? i am in no mood to turn off fax machines for a rude, snobby, patronizing fish tank owner! from felix ********* to dave the janitor: i didnt mean to insult you. I just assumed you were an anti-semite. Im sorry! can you please just turn off the fax machine! from dave the janitor to felix *********: fine.
Is that it? from me to scott *******: well, you re not gonna want to hear this, but it says your cd player is possessed by amanojaku, or audio demon. Sincerely looking forward to taking your job, mike from judy ******* to me: sure - her number is 1-800-goto-hell sincerely done talking to you, judy.
Is there a trick to dialing your number? from felix ********* to me: what trick??? its a phone number you just dial it! from me to felix *********: are you sure you didn t give me the number to a fax machine? would you rather communicate through fax? that would actually be easier for me. Mike from steve ***** to me: listen up you stupid fuckhead.
Mike from judy ******* to me: mike, i am sorry to hear about your injury.How is this so confusing to you? where are you now? from me to steve *****: i think i m on the pennsylvania turnpike. Thank you and goodbye. I live in west chester, when can you come with the money? also, bring the tv. Plus my speeding ticket which is going to be over $200.
He told me to buy a fish tank from you and he d get it from me on monday. It s the kind of novel that makes you think. Why would they put a sushi menu in there? from me to scott *******: japanese instruction manuals are not like the american manuals you are used to.
You re saying that because these kids are mentally handicapped, that they don t deserve to be treated like regular people? instead, you want to point out their disabilities and tell them that they will never be able to play hockey like normal people. Fighting is what hockey is all about. Nobody picked up so i went to leave you a message, but it said your voicemail was full. Somebody is messing with me! from russ ******* to me: can you send me the link to that ad so i can have them take it down? from me to russ *******: sorry, i can t find the link anymore. And with the free extention cord, that is a steal. Are you selling the axe? i ll give you $20 cash for it. Please reconsider hiring me.
How the hell do you think that is acceptable in this day and age? what does it matter what religion someone is for you to sell them a shovel? this is absolutely despicable and an outrage to the jewish community. Have a great weekend, eh? from felix ********* to me: god dammit from me to felix *********: this is an automated out-of-office reply from mike partlow: i will be out of the office on vacation in canada until monday, june 10th. ======================================================== from me to russ *******: good afternoon! i saw your ad for the shovel for sale.
My cd player suddenly stopped working and i cant figure out why.So ok heres the deal.
What does it say for the failure of sound one? from me to scott *******: hello and thank you for chose glorious master cd player! apologies many for trouble of product. From scott ******* to me: no way it says that. I am currently in between jobs so i can dedicate a lot of time to helping out.
To banish audio demon, follow step: 1.
I m more interested in the axe you have in that picture. From me to judy *******: oh, i get it.
It looks like i m at pughtown and rt. Itgoes to show that four total strangers can band together to try and help a kid not end up another statistic in the system.No need for profanities.
It is kind of hard to turn around on this road. - dave from me to ************@***********.
I m on the plane now and they are making us turn our cell phones off for takeoff. From me to russ *******: you drive a hard bargain on the shovel.
From me to russ *******: i ll give you $10 for the shovel. Your not even close so you have a way to go.
From felix ********* to dave the janitor: yeah hi dave here s the situation. I won more fights than everyone else in the division combined.
From felix ********* to dave the janitor: oh jesus christ. Unplug glorious master cd player 2.
From felix ********* to me: hey! no! fuck that you better find a way and cancel this shit right now!!!! call somebody at the office make them do it i m fucking serious from me to felix *********: nobody is at the office, it is 6:30! actually, you know what? the janitor might be there. Looking at it closer, it says thank you for purchasing this glorious master cd player. You know that, right? what you described is brutally violent and has no place in the special olympics. I ll be over in a few hours. Dude kept sending me all this bs. From dave the janitor to felix *********: excuse me? with a janitor? what is that supposed to mean? what if i had a fancy rich person job as an investment banker? would you haggle with me then? i don t like your condescending tone, buddy. It is a tradition that dates back to the first hockey game ever played. From felix ********* to me: i never heard it ring.
I crossed over a river and now it says i am coming up on route 113. Because there are genuinely people like that in the world and it s spirit like that that makes you believe there is good in a world that s continually filled with bad.
If you turn rite onto pughtown, then rite on bethel rd from pughtown it will take you there. She s clever, she s brave and she s infectious. It says the next exit is king of prussia in 15 miles. I don t know what kind of insane league you played in but that is not the level of intensity that s meant for these children. You clearly do not have the right attitude to be helping mentally challenged kids. Mike from me to scott *******: scott? were you able to banish the audio demon? from me to ************@*********. I live at 54 ********* dr.
Your asking price of $10 sounds fair to me. Should i get off at the king of prussia exit? i just passed a billboard for geico insurance, if that helps. I said make a rite on pughtown. It really wasn t fair, if you ask me. Sincerely not buying your shovel of hatred, mordecai goldstein from russ ******* to me: i don t have a problem with jews at all! someone else put that ad up to mess with me and i cant find where it is! can you send me the link to the ad please?? from me to russ *******: why don t you shovel your nazi bullshit to someone else? this jew isn t buying it! ======================================================== he finally decided to email my original account: ======================================================== from russ ******* to me: look you little prick i know you put that fucking ad up and you need to take it the fuck down right now. Can you help me out? i pulled over on wilson rd and i ll wait for your instructions.
Mike from scott ******* to me: yea i did that. Just stop the fax machine, ok? from dave the janitor to felix *********: tell you what, i ll cancel the fax machine if you drop the price on the fish tank to $75. I must have it! is it still for sale? mike from felix ********* to me: call the number from me to felix *********: what number? from felix ********* to me: 484-***-**** from me to felix *********: i just called that number and nobody answered.
In fact, i ve only ever lost one fight on the ice.
You expect me to believe that a violent psychopath like you genuinely wants to help the mentally challenged play hockey? yeah, right! you don t give a damn about these children. Much dishonor of family name. I ll take it! from russ ******* to me: what are you on about? the shovel isn t for sale.
The community spirit and the way in which grace changes her neighbours lives made me smile. From felix ********* to dave the janitor: yeah yeah.
Are you done? from dave the janitor to felix *********: yes, i stopped the fax.It was somewhere in the stuff for sale section, if i m not mistaken. Sent via blackberry from steve ***** to me: no dont do that!! you will be on 100 for like 15 miles before that happens! just turn around and get back on pughtown this should be easy from me to steve *****: this would be much easier if i could just call you. From russ ******* to me: here is my final offer: shut the hell up and leave me alone! ======================================================== later, from another email account. You ve done enough. My wife needed to use the computer so i had to delete my browsing history because i was looking at porn earlier.
Sent via blackberry from steve ***** to me: i dont live on pughtown. - chan from scott ******* to me: hey chan.
From felix ********* to me: oh im harassing you? the dumbass who sets a fax to send me every 15 minutes and then leaves the fucking country? you know how many times that fax machine called me you stupid piece of shit you have the nerve to say im harassing you? go fuck yourself you fucking fuckhead!!!!!! from me to felix *********: this is an automated out-of-office reply from mike partlow: hola! i will be on vacation in mexico until monday, june 17th and will not be checking my email until i return.I will not be checking my emails until i return. ======================================================== from me to russ *******: hey i m emailing you about the shovel.
I just got pulled over for texting while driving, and going 103 in a 65.
They often include advertisements, and i guess in this case, a sushi menu. It was the office fax machine and i already left for the weekend. Mike from steve ***** to me: hi mike. I think the attached picture is the table of contents, could you see if it says what page the troubleshooting part is on and then ill send you that? from me to scott *******: you sent me a sushi take-out menu. The cop is running my information right now.
He also suffered brain damage from blood loss, but that is more the paramedics fault than mine for letting him bleed out for so long. He said you can cancel the fax? from dave the janitor to felix *********: mike didn t mention anything about a fax machine to me.
Don t be so dismissive! do you even know anything about hockey? it sounds to me like you think hockey is just soccer on ice. But i won the rematch in the parking lot (thank you, tire iron!) i know everything there is to know about fighting and would love to pass on my skills to your kids. It s the kind of novel that makes you happy.
He s going to call you shortly.Do you want me to contact him? from felix ********* to me: yes from me to felix *********: okay, i gave him your info. I m selling the hedge trimmer, not the shovel.
I saw the toll and realized something was wrong, but there wasn t anywhere for me to turn around so i just went through it. Mike has no idea how phones work and tried to send a fax to my phone using the fax machine at his office.
Thanks bye =================================== a few days later, from my original email account. From me to felix *********: i just called again. My career was cut short because i was banned after causing another player to have a career ending injury. I swear i didnt put that up.
I m dave, the janitor at mike s office.
Ignite seven candle 2. The cop said i should be processed in a few hours. Org: hey there, i saw your ad and think i can help you.
Can you get it today? i dont have a phone so just show up and knock on my door. From me to judy *******: whoa there.
From me to steve *****: okay, i turned onto pughtown again but i don t see bethel rd.Why not order sushi while you enjoy music? mike from scott ******* to me: well that is dumb. What do i know about fax machines? i don t have a fancy degree in fax machine engineering.
With my expert training, your team will be the most feared team in the entire special olympics. ======================================================== from me to russ *******: dear anti-semite douchebag, i got a bone to pick with you. On top of that, they found a bowl and some weed in my car, and a little bit of cocaine.
It was an unfortunate accident, but the league came down extremely hard on me.From me to russ *******: i m sorry, i thought i was doing you a favor. Can you see if it says anything about no sound coming from the output? from me to scott *******: ok, i find three thing may help you: failure of sound from device skipping of disc for poor sound sound volume low very much - chan from scott ******* to me: umm.